The Snapes go on holiday by ancientgir
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Thank you all for reading this. Your comments make my day. I appreciate you sticking with it. I hadn\'t planned on making this story so long, but its sort of got a mind of its own.

All canon characters belong to JKR

Thanks to June for all of her help and suggestions.

Chapter 19 “ What’s with Harry’s hair?


Odin and Sage just barely got out of the dungeons without getting caught. It was lucky for them that they heard their father and Lucius approaching, so they and were able to get to the tunnels quickly. After a bit of searching, they spied Harry in the gardens, where they could observe Harry from behind some bushes. Sage pointed her wand towards Harry and whispered the spell she and her brother had found earlier. They watched, Harry seemed to shiver slightly as he looked around. Thankfully they had a cloaking spell on themselves.

They waited. And they waited some more. Finally they looked at one another.

“I don’t think it worked,” said Sage, as Harry continued to sit on a stone bench and read something that looked like a Quidditch book.

“Did you do it right?” asked Odin.

“I’m fairly certain.” Sage looked at the book once more.

“Well, he’s not doing anything,” Odin pointed out.

Sage rolled her eyes. “Thank’s for the news flash Rita Skeeter.”

“No need to get insulting, I was just thinking out loud.” Odin looked at Harry, then the book. “Maybe he needs… um…oh, what’s that word Dad uses… Oh, Harry needs some sort of stimulus.”

Sage crinkled her nose. “Like what?”

“I don’t know,” sighed Odin. They sat staring at Harry for almost fifteen minutes. Finally they decided their spell hadn’t worked.

“Back to the dungeons, I suppose,” said Odin.

“We haven’t got time. Supper will be served soon, and you know how Daddy gets when we’ve gone missing for a long time. He doesn’t trust us, you know.”

“Sage, I don’t even bloody trust us. Come on, let’s go. We’ll figure something else out in the morning.” Odin and Sage left the bushes and walked back into the castle.

Harry sat on the stone bench, wondering why he couldn’t get a tune out of his head. It was something he’d never heard; yet he felt an overwhelming desire to break out in song. He shook his head, thinking perhaps he should get out of the sun.


As suppertime rolled around, all of the guests fluttered to the dining room. Everyone had paired off; even the kids were sitting next to one another. Harry walked in as the odd man out. He thought for a moment he would be bombarded with questions, but luckily no one bothered with him. He quietly sat at the farthest end of the table, next to Odin and Sage.

The house-elves served surf and turf “ mini filet mignons with lobster “ always a favorite no matter who was around. The group ate in companionable silence, until Draco decided to break the ice “ break the ice with a jackhammer, that is. Lucius had informed Draco of the incident with his transcript, as well as the Veritaserum that Harry seemed to have ingested. Draco wondered if the Veritaserum had worn off yet.

“So Harry, how do you like working for the Ministry?” Draco asked.

Harry’s fork stopped midway to his mouth.

“Most of the time, I’m bored out of my skull. But it keeps me in the public eye, and I love the attention and special favors my celebrity status offers me, especially favors with girls,” Harry said through gritted teeth. He knew Draco was trying to embarrass him, and he hated the fact that he was at a disadvantage.

“Favors? Interesting. I’ll bet lots of people do you favors, both in and out of the Ministry.” Draco smiled. “Anyone do you any favors lately?”

Harry was seething. He knew Draco was goading him on, and he couldn’t do a damned thing about it.

“Yes, Draco. It happens I recently asked someone to do something for me.” Harry couldn’t help but cringe.

Seeing that dinner was going to turn into a sparring match between the two younger wizards, Severus decided to deflate the situation and prevent Draco from asking about his source for the transcript. Severus wanted to spend the last few days at the castle quietly. He suspected Harry had indeed asked someone for a favor and that was how Lucius’ transcript had shown up at the castle. He was so sure of this that, unbeknownst to anyone, Severus had Owled Arthur Weasley that morning. In his note, Severus gave the Minister of Magic enough information to enable him to investigate the matter and find Harry’s source. While Severus didn’t want to be the cause for Harry being fired, since Harry was still Hermione’s friend, what Harry did was serious. Who knew how many other people in the Ministry of Magic were giving out information such as Lucius’ “sealed” records. But it was Arthur’s task to perform, not Draco’s.

“Harry, if you are so bored working at the Ministry, why don’t you just do something else? What would you rather be doing? Quidditch? Wine, women, song?” Severus took a stab at his potato and brought the fork to his mouth, taking a bite of his favorite vegetable.

Suddenly from across the table, Harry burst into song

Sodomy
Fellatio
Cunnilingus
Pederasty

Severus immediately began choking on his potato and needed to be assisted by Hermione’s slapping him on the back. Albus and Minerva’s wine came out their noses. The others also stopped eating and stared open-mouthed at Harry, as he now stood up and began to dance around the table.

Father, why do these words sound so nasty?

Sang Harry in a child-like voice as he cocked his head innocently and batted his eyelashes.

Odin and Sage looked at one another wide-eyed. And here they thought the spell hadn’t worked. Their only problem was they had no idea what Harry was singing about.

Masturbation can be fun!
Join the holy orgy!
Kama Sutra everyone!

Harry twirled around the room hopping around as though his feet were on fire.

“Harry!” yelled Severus. One bad word was enough that morning, but now the Boy Who Annoyed was rattling off enough bad words to fill an encyclopedia. “Merlin’s hemorrhoids, Harry, what is happening with you?”

Harry stopped mid-twirl and looked at Severus.

“Isn’t it obvious? Dancing is happening to me!” said Harry angrily.

Hermione noticed Severus’ face getting red, and saw the vein in his neck begin to throb. She stepped up next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Harry, you’re acting a bit… um…odd.”

“Odd? If only odd was all he were acting like,” said Lucius. Ginny squeezed his thigh under the table. The last thing she wanted was for Harry to try to blame Lucius for his odd behavior again.

“Maybe you were out in the sun too long. That late afternoon sun sometimes is worse than the morning sun,” said Albus as he laughed nervously.

“Why are you acting like this, Harry?” asked Ginny.

She asks me why
I\'m just a hairy guy
I\'m hairy noon and night
Hair that\'s a fright
I\'m hairy high and low
Don\'t ask me why
Don\'t know
It\'s not for lack of break
Like the Grateful Dead
Darling

Harry spread his arms then began to shake his head as he started dancing again.

The entire group stared at him in shock.

Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Harry messed his hair with his hands as he sang on.

Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy

Severus looked towards Lucius and pointed at Harry.

“Did you do this?” Severus mouthed his question.

Lucius looked at his friend and shrugged.

“I didn’t do anything,” Lucius mouthed back to Severus.

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair

Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain\'t no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my...


Harry’s words faded as he danced out of the room mid-song.

Everyone remaining sat quietly and looked at one another. Then Draco remembered something he’d seen while in New York.

“Hang on, he’s singing something from Hair,” Draco said as he looked at Cho. “Remember that old Muggle musical we saw just before we left. You weren’t feeling well and missed a few songs while you were in the restroom.” Draco started laughing. “He’s performing Hair!”

Severus looked towards Odin and Sage, who seemed to be abnormally quiet. This was their doing, he was sure of it. Just what were his two little snakes up to?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The songs Harry sung were from the musical \"Hair.\" The first is called \"Sodomy\" and the second is the theme song, \"Hair.\"

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. And, btw, I\'m not done with Harry.